Passion. Outstanding engineering. Sustainability.

Mmmmmm. I am in love.

____________________

*Quite possibly one of my favorite places to visit.

Visit Wordless Wednesday HQ here

Whoa.

I was thinking something more like this:

You know?  Bloo, not blue…

I wasn’t sure how to react.  Over the years, I’ve learned that it’s always best to remain calm and resist any emotional reaction to anything our kids tell us.  So I breathed deeply and just listened to them.  I thought that if I just gave them a little time to share whatever they were feeling, they’d feel better.  But the tears kept coming.

So I gave them hugs.  And more hugs.  And loads of sympathetic words.

I reminded them of other trips I took with some of my girlfriends.  They quickly replied, “But those weren’t as long … and those were in the same state!”

Okay, well, yeah…

More tears.

Yikes.

At that point, I felt like crying.

I started to question my motivation.  “Hmm…”  I thought, “Yeah, actually, why am I going to this conference??”  Self doubt crept in.  “Do I really need to go?”

After about an hour (!), they went to sleep and I went to work.

I made a video of our night time ritual, including the prayers, the songs, and the words I’ve recited since they were babies.  I left notes for them on the kitchen table and I tried to get in a better frame of mind.

Hubby was great (always so supportive) and looked at me with a knowing grin (knowing that I was conflicted, but knowing how much I had been looking forward to attending the event).  He reminded me ever so gently, “Oh, of course you’re still going.  Don’t be silly.”

Right.  Okay.

So I finished packing, got about three hours of sleep and headed to the airport.

As I was maneuvering around the airport, going through security, waiting at the gate, boarding the plane, I realized that this was the first time since before I was married that I was traveling alone.  I used to love traveling alone.  But I had forgotten that it was almost a passion. I forgot so much that it all felt new and a bit uncomfortable.

So I bumbled along, feeling a bit awkward and out of place.  At first, I found myself apologizing for having to move past other passengers to get to my seat or for taking a bit too much time to stow my luggage in the overhead compartment.  Wait.  Let me say those words again – my luggage, my seat.  I’ve become used to stowing the kids’ luggage, making sure the kids had enough activities to occupy them en route, checking on the kids to see whether they needed anything.

As I settled in to this familiar yet forgotten feeling, I found myself smiling more and more.

I moved from doubting myself (“Maybe I should have stayed home and just skipped this trip”) to feeling more confident and lively than I’d felt in many years.  I felt younger and emotionally lighter.  I noticed a definite absence of those judgmental looks from strangers that suggested things like, “Oh, she’s a mom.”

“Her kids sure are loud and talkative.”

“Why is she giving them candy? Are they drinking soda, too?”

“Doesn’t she ever brush that girl’s hair?”

No matter how much we do as parents, we somehow manage to feel inadequate.

But then?  At that moment?  Up there at 36,000 feet?  It was just me.  Heck these strangers didn’t even know whether I was a mom.

It made me feel a little giddy … and put a little spring in my step.

When I stepped off that plane in San Francisco, I felt like Mary Tyler Moore in her show opening or, no, how about Rihanna in Don’t Stop the Music.

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

Bottom line?

Parents should take some time out to remember who we are when we’re not with the kids.  We’re not just parents.  We still have our passions, our interests, our talents.  We just need to tap into them once in a while.  And when we do?  Mmmm.  Fabulous.

Then, when we go home to our kids, we can throw our arms around them to give them sincere, emphatic, grateful bear hugs and really revel in all that we are.

___________________________________

Images from Google Images and the sites linked within the pictures.

*Actually, that’s Rihanna with her little brother; the photo is used only for.

Visit Wordless Wednesday HQ here .

She, too, was a loyal fan of the Seinfeld series. She knew it was the home of the “Big Salad,” the place where George, Elaine and Jerry frequently met and discussed sometimes controversial (but mostly mundane) topics. Where George griped about everything under the sun and Jerry pondered imponderables.

Without hesitation, we went inside for lunch and noticed that the interior looked nothing like it did on the show – completely different floorplan, different art on the walls (this place was covered with signed caricatures and photos of the stars of the show), different condiment containers and different booths.

But the hostess? She could have come straight out of one of the sitcom’s episodes.

Here’s the scene. The restaurant is quite small, with three rows of booths, very narrow aisles between them and a counter. One booth could be described by restaurant people as a “six-top” which means it seats six adults, all the others seat four.

We arrived before the lunch rush, so most of the booths were empty. We were a group of eight, two chaperones and six kids. Or, if you look at it the way I looked at it, two groups of four people each. I had been traveling around Manhattan with the same three girls, so I was expecting to sit in a booth with the four of us (as we had done for every other meal).

The hostess had a different idea.

With a gorgeously strong, rapid fire New York (probably Queens, maybe Bronx) accent, she asserted, ” ‘Ow menny ya got? Ya got eight? Right here! Come ohvah heaah. You can sit heaah. Eight. Right? Yeaah. It’s peh-fect. We’ll just pull up a chair, put it on the end. Theaah ya go. The rest of ya sit…ya know…theaah.”

She gestured matter of factly toward the six top and looked into my eyes as if it were an order, not a suggestion. I hesitated…knowing, first of all that certain girls didn’t want to sit together and the way they were about to squeeze in would have resulted in elbowing, arguing and an all around unpleasant dining experience. Just try to shove tween girls together who don’t like each other very much, you’ll quickly discover just how nasty they can get. It’s a catty, sarcastic phase.

But the hostess could care less.

She scowled at me with growing impatience and a “WTH are ya doin’ ya fr*@*in’ tourist? Sit yer a@# down already!” kind of look, still motioning for us to fill in the six-top booth.

Meanwhile, some of the girls had climbed out of the six-top, others had climbed in, and my three girls had opened menus, sat down and started getting comfortable in a four top in the next row. They then said, “We’re sitting here ,” without even looking up from the menus.

Our lovely hostess, now completely annoyed with us, tried one last attempt, “Wha? Ya got eight, right? Right here. Whaat’s wrong with this? This is fa eight. Right heeaah. I got a chair. I’ll put the chair heeaah. You’ll be fine.”

I explained that we were fine as we were. No thanks, we would just sit separately. It was better that way. For us. You know, the customers . We grumbled among ourselves as if we were taking cues from George Costanza himself. “Do you believe that woman? Expecting us to squeeze in there?! Ridiculous! What was she thinking? Well, I’m not doing it.”

Lovely hostess rolled her eyes, threw up her arms, sighed and said, “Fine. Whatevah.”

But it wasn’t fine.

She came back again and said, “Ya know…if we get busy…now you’re takin’ up two booths. You can all fit in that one booth. It’s fa eight. Y’can sit ova theeaah (motioning again in the direction of the six-top).”

“Uh, well, sorry, we’re already here. It’s early. We’ll probably be gone before you fill up. If we have to move later, we will. But we’d rather stay here. For now. Okay?” I offer in my most sincere, midwestern (please let this end soon) voice.

Just as the drinks arrived, another group of five (that happened to also be part of our main group) walked in the door. Five. All of the girls were tiny, young tweens, so they dove right into a four-top booth. But the hostess would not have it. She walked over to the half of our group sitting in the six-top and commanded them, “Yor gonna haffta move. We gotta bigga group heeaaah. Ya gotta move.”

They packed up the drinks, menus and personal belongings and sat in the four-top booth behind us.

I had to laugh. Would there be any better way to enjoy the restaurant from Seinfeld? Thanks, lady. Now can I get that Big Salad?

____________________

Special thanks to Sister Sassy from Sisters of a Different Order for mentioning the Big Salad and Melisa from Suburban Scrawl , noting that Tom’s was called Monk’s in the show in comments on yesterday’s post .

The New Colossus

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
with conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
a mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame,
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
with silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore,
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

- Emma Lazarus

For more Wordless Wednesday visit HQ here and here .

____________________

and, yes, in case you were wondering, my daughter took this photo on our recent trip to NYC.

We started with a relatively painless plane ride to sunny CA. My son was lucky enough to snag the window seat, so he took a photo of the clouds.

Flying with school aged kids is really not bad at all. You’re past the baby stage, when you’re wondering whether you’ll get evil stares from judgmental, intolerant passengers if your baby makes so much as a peep. You’re also past that toddler/little kid stage where you need to have snacks, beverages, toys and books ready to go to entertain the little people and you have to worry about bathroom breaks. I’m happy to say that, by this age, they can entertain themselves (especially with today’s cool technology gadgets and in-flight movies). They downloaded very different selections (DS – football highlights, DD – Suite Life of Zack & Cody episodes) but so what? Whatever makes ‘em happy. Here’s a view of DS’s tray table:

(DS took this photo, too). It shows his mini Munny that he created during the flight as well as a few other items that kept him busy.

DD, meanwhile, was fascinated by her soda can:

Upon arrival, you’d think I’d be most interested in this:

or this.

But what really got my attention was the food. It’s so darn good in California. They have things like this

and this

and this

and this.

Mmmmm…I can taste it right now. It’s one of the best reasons to visit that state.

You can also find interesting things to buy, like this bag made out of seatbelts from a 1950s Buick

(okay, sure, you can get it online, too, but I didn’t know it existed until I saw it in CA).

For your techy, playful side, they also have cool places like Zeum (an arts and technology museum), The Tech (museum of innovation) and Exploratorium (a hands-on science museum). At Zeum, the kids made a claymation movie, where they made clay characters then used one of the museum’s existing sets, cameras and computer programs to create a short movie. The Zeum folks give you a DVD of your movie to take home, too! You can also record your own CD (using a teleprompter and microphone) or appear in a toothpaste commercial (which also records to a DVD for you to take with you, with a suggested donation of $5). It’s a nonprofit museum in the middle of San Francisco that’s worth an afternoon of your time.

We were disappointed by a place that our (apparently outdated) guidebook referred to as “heaven for tweens” called Metreon which is basically just a building that houses a movie theater, restaurants and an arcade. Don’t bother.

If your kids like computers, I recommend a 40 minute drive to an out of the way place called The Tech, which is in San Jose/Silicon Valley. The Tech is another science/technology kind of place. You can do funky things like take a picture of your head then play with the image on a computer, making it look as if it were made out of brick, concrete, wire, and more. Fascinating! Other activities included designing a bicycle, creating a computer roller coaster (and then going for a simulated ride on it!), experiencing a simulated earthquake and reading from a teleprompter to record (what sort of seems like) a speech on the floor of Congress.

Superimpose your face into a floating spacesuit.

Back in San Francisco, Exploratorium was a blast, particularly their new exhibit called The Mind where older kids can manipulate all kinds of contraptions while learning more about perceptions, causal relationships and physics. My favorite was The Tactile Dome, which is basically a maze that you crawl through in complete blackness (it’d be quite scary for most little kids, so the museum sets a minimum age requirement of seven).

My whole family loved this adventure. It was definitely the highlight of this museum. Well, that’s if you don’t include the toilet drinking fountain.

Would you take a drink?

Kids of a certain age, though, will always be drawn to playgrounds. No matter where you go on vacation. Sure enough, DS’s face lit up like a CFL when he saw the playground near Zeum.

After spending a good chunk of time there, he concluded, “This is the best playground I’ve ever seen!”

So, even if your kids are just not interested in museums, you can take them to this playground and they’re sure to have a blast. It has that squishy rubber base that somehow makes it feel more cozy and safe. The slide is fast (good design, no doubt) but best utilized with long pants.

There you have it. A fantastic family vacation in San Francisco! And really, I have to say it was my favorite trip yet.

________________

Read this article for more great ideas regarding what to do with your kids while in San Francisco.

Right?

Not always.

In the past, I used to make charts and timetables of what we would see and when we would see it. I used to spend weeks researching details about our travel destinations and make as many reservations as possible for dinners, shows, etc. Now I look back on that time, smile and think, "Wow, did I ever overdo it!" Control freak? Um, yeah. I’d say so.

So, over the years, I’ve really tried to lighten up. While I acknowledge the usefulness of the charts and schedules, I don’t think you can effectively vacation that way as the kids get older. When kids are little, they follow you anywhere and do so without question. As they get older, however, they start to wonder why they’re going where they’re going and often lobby for different destinations (especially when they’re on vacation).

When the kids want more of a say in the itinerary, we parents have a few options.

First, we can surrender control and completely cave in to their demands. "Okay, sweetie, whatever you want." We would then change things around and proceed to the new place without the benefit of hours of at home research. But that’s risky. You don’t know what to expect! What sounds good in a PR soundbite could be boring (or worse–freaky) when you actually experience it.

Alternatively, we can be complete control freaks and insist on the original travel plans (designed completely by us, of course). With stacks of research papers in hand (and maybe even some brochures sent in advance by the museum or other place of interest) you proceed to the original destination at the designated time, disregarding the kids’ points of view. Grumbling, disappointed and discouraged kids follow along like scolded puppies with tails between their legs.

Not an ideal situation. So what’s the third option?

Well, you can find some kind of compromise where you get information about the place the kids would like to see (i.e., ask a local or the hotel concierge or someone else with knowledge (or, if you’re really tech savvy, look it up on your iPhone or laptop)). Then, if it sounds like a good idea go ahead and change your plans and rearrange things on the schedule. Do you really have to go to that museum? Nah. So take it off the travel plan and replace it with the kids’ idea. Engage in a little compromise. The result? Your kids feel like you’ve heard them and you get a pass if the place stinks. If you’re lucky, you’ll end up in a place that’s a real winner and everyone will benefit.

It worked well for us this summer. DH and I set up the details for the plane, hotel and car and left everything else pretty open. Well, okay, I had a general outline and two tabbed guidebooks, but I was open to suggestions. Each night we looked through the brochures and guidebooks and, as a family, we talked about what worked and didn’t work, what family members liked and didn’t for each of the previous days and we collectively figured out what to do for the next day. We used the services of the concierge and did some online research. Also, after seeing some of the attractions, the kids’ levels of interest changed. So, in some cases they wanted to spend a lot more time in one spot, other times they didn’t want to go anywhere near the place. So we changed things around. Without incident. It was great. The kids felt like their opinions mattered and each day we had a plan. It worked well.

Now that we’re home, we all agree it was the best vacation yet.