We saw Rafa Nadal defeat David Forrer then witnessed Andy Roddick take down Benjamin Becker. After those matches, Roddick upset Nadal in this match:

Shortly afterward, we actually met the winner, Andy Roddick. At a time when he could have walked away and snubbed my son, instead, he spoke a few kind words, signed his cap and thanked us for congratulating him on winning. My greatest impression from that chance encounter was that Roddick looked focused and determined yet treated my son with kindness and top-notch manners. After defeating Nadal, the fourth ranked player in the world, Roddick went on to win the entire tournament.

From our perspective, it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.

Congratulations, crocodile Andy!

You’re a great player and a heckuva nice guy. Here’s hoping you get some well-deserved Grand Slam titles!!

AP Photo

Photo by Susana Vera, Reuters

Congratulations Roger Federer!  Beating Rafael Nadal 6-4, 6-4 in Madrid, Federer won his 15th Masters Series title. And, yes, it was on clay.  Go, Roger, go!

The French Open begins on May 25.

Wimbledon . Roger Federer.

If you like tennis, then you know that those two go hand in hand. When we hear the name of that grass court Grand Slam event, we immediately picture him . The king. The champion. Just like we used to do with Pete Sampras. Maybe even Bjorn Borg. Or, yes, John McEnroe. It’s quite a list. As of last night, however, another name has been added to the list of tennis greats.

Rafael Nadal.

In one of the closest, most exciting tennis matches of all time, Nadal managed to win just a few more points to be declared the official winner of the 2008 Men’s Final at Wimbledon.

But …

Both Nadal and Federer played a match like no other. I remember the 1980 Borg/McEnroe classic. I enjoyed the Sampras/Agassi trumped up rivalry. But this? Whoa. The level of play by these two men was something I’ve just not seen. If ever there were a game that proves it’s not whether you win or lose but how you play the game, I’d have to say this was it. They played with skill, tenacity, strength, poise and finesse.

When the match began, I was a loyal Federer fan but, by the time breakfast at Wimbledon turned into dinner, I felt undeniable respect and admiration for Rafa. Either man deserved to take home that golden trophy.

My family watched with bated breath , shrieked at the amazing, stunning shots as points were won, sighed and slumped when surprising, disappointing errors were made. The match was filled with emotion (even for the spectators) – for nearly five hours.

When it was all over, we felt a bit dazed, filled with awe and respect for these two remarkable athletes.

But so sad for Federer.

Roger Federer (photo by D. Rawcliffe/Propaganda)

After a brief period of stunned silence, my young son said something like this:

“Mom, Federer’s still #1 and maybe he can win the U.S. Open or the Australian but you have to realize…Nadal is approaching or reaching his peak and Federer, he’s what, 26 (almost 27?) well, let’s just say he’s been playing longer [he extends his cupped hands and demonstrates, his left hand making a rising curve, then, with his right hand, he shows a declining slope]. So here’s Nadal, age 22 [left hand above the right] but, if Federer had been at his peak now ? Well, come on, then he would have crushed him.”

I looked at him skeptically.

“Okay, well, maybe not crushed him, but he would have beaten him, say, 6-4, 6-2, 6-4 or something. Nadal beat him today only because they’re peaking at different times.”

Then I smiled, realizing he was trying to make both of us feel better. Hmm…okay, son. Thanks for that.

If you didn’t watch the match, I recommend that you find it online and spend some time with it. It’s phenomenal . Federer was down the first two sets 6-4, 6-4, won the third set in a tie break, then won the next set to bring it to a sudden death fifth set. The first one to win by two games would be crowned the champion.

I’ll spare you the details here, but if you want to know them, there are plenty of sites you can visit .

Instead, I’d like to focus on how much we can learn from those two players. I talked to my kids about how well they both handled the situation. Federer never gave up. Never looked as if he thought he didn’t have a chance. These guys both wanted to win and they both worked their tails off to try to do just that. They whaled on that ball. Hustled to get shots that looked impossible to reach. Managed to return shots when spectators often thought the point was over. Served aces at critical moments. Played for nearly five hours.

Endurance. Perseverance. Graciousness in winning (and in losing). Passion. It was all there on Centre Court.

I hope my kids will always remember this match. I hope that, if ever they’re faced with a seemingly unstoppable foe, they’ll keep trying, even when success seems highly unlikely (and the statistics support that notion). I hope that, when it’s all over, they’re able to speak well of their opponent and give credit where credit is due. I hope they’ll be able to leave the match (or negotiation or championship game) with their heads held high, recognizing that, even if they didn’t win, as long as they played their absolute best they can be proud.

Kudos to both Rafa and Roger. You’re both champions for raising the level of tennis to an exciting, exhilarating height, for acknowledging the greatness of the match without tearing each other down, and for managing to look poised and composed when you needed to (despite the intense emotions you must have been feeling). Unlike most sporting events or Academy Awards, viewers will not forget the runner-up. You’ll both be remembered and revered. It’s the match that will go down in history, the Federer/Nadal Wimbledon match of 2008. It will be discussed, referred to and studied. We’ll want to watch it again and again. Because both players made the match what it was. Thanks, gentlemen, for giving us the match of a lifetime.

Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal – Wimbledon 2008

(Photo by V. Donev/EPA)

Update: Here’s another view of the significance of the match (article appeared in the New York Times, July 8, 2008) . The Times blew it, IMO, on Monday, July 7, by having a fluff article about the reporter’s choosing to watch “Hancock” instead of the match (and regretting it). This article (a day late) redeems the Times ever so slightly…

Here’s the story.

My kids are learning to play tennis. I should probably mention that I love tennis. I’m disappointed by our country’s poor showing in Wimbledon right now (and disappointed by Ana Ivanovic’s loss).

Ana Ivanovic

I felt sad when Federer lost to Nadal (again) at the French Open. But I am hopeful that he’ll win Wimbledon.

More to the point, though, I’m aware of the emotional nature of the sport of tennis and the importance of maintaining control when you play . It’s a sport where it pays to be calm and assertive. Strong but controlled. Especially when the players are sensitive and intense (think McEnroe ).

Like my kids, for example.

This afternoon in team practice, they played mixed doubles on opposite sides of the court and ended up quarreling over all sorts of little (meaningless) points. It was practice . I understand the benefits of a competitive attitude but shouldn’t that be reserved for matches against other teams? And for when the teams are actually fairly skilled?

The kids I saw playing today hit more moon balls (you know, the balls that fly up toward the sky when the players were actually trying to just hit it to the other side of the court) than winners. They’re all beginners and it’s readily apparent. They’re also all in summer mode, half of them coming to the courts after swimming in the pool, hair still wet, smelling of chlorine, laughing and giggling. It’s just not intense, serious, competition-level play.

So, after practice, I talked to them about the rules of tennis, particularly the etiquette. I also reminded them of the concept of the golden rule – treat others how you want to be treated.

They listened with rapt attention.

Then I said* something that I probably shouldn’t have said, “Look. You guys s*ck right now. I mean, come on. You do! Now, I don’t mean that you, you know, are lousy tennis players and will be forever. I mean that, as compared with Roger Federer, you’re just not there yet. Not by a long shot.”

Roger Federer

But why is that worth pointing out to these little, impressionable youngsters? Because, I went on, “you can’t expect yourselves to be perfect. You’re not going to play like Roger Federer tomorrow in your match. So don’t get mad at yourself for a double-fault. Don’t get mad at your partner for missing a ball. You are in no position to judge him. Are you perfect? No. So, how can you expect him to be perfect? Is it fair to make him feel bad for missing the ball? How would you feel if he got mad at you for that double fault? Would it seem reasonable? At this point? The whole point of these summertime team practices is to learn how to play. So, if you do something that you wish you hadn’t? Figure out what it was that you didn’t like and improve it. Try to figure out what you did wrong so that you can learn from it and not do it again. If you allow that anger to bubble up and out, you run the risk of losing control and getting angry about something that could be looked at, instead, as an opportunity to learn.”

Tomorrow they’re going to play mixed doubles for the team. You know…together . They’ll be doubles partners.

“So,” I said, “when you two play together tomorrow, I challenge you to control your impulse to attack your partner or your opponents. Challenge yourselves to control those urges to get angry. Try to view the match as a learning experience and, most of all, have fun. Find a way to enjoy it. I’m not talking about messing around and not taking it seriously. I mean enjoy the rallies. Learn how great it feels to support your partner. Encourage each other. Don’t let yourselves get pulled down into that negative spiral.”

They play tomorrow.

I’ll let you know how it goes…

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Images from Wimbledon.org

*Just to be clear, I said it in a soft, conversational tone. Imagine a coach sort of wrapping his arm around a player and saying, “Hey, listen kid, let’s get some perspective here…” Not a rant, more like a pep talk. I still wonder whether it was a good idea, though…

**Okay…my kids read this post and were very concerned that you all would think they’re always yelling at each other and that they were fighting the whole time they were out there. They weren’t. They actually get along better than many siblings I’ve seen and played well most of the time. It’s just that, after the fact, they had a bit of trouble letting go of things like this, “No, that ball was not out.” “Yes, brother, it was.” “How can you say it was out?” “Because it was.” “Every single ball that was in question you called out.” “Because they were.” On and on. They argue, they don’t fight. But they argue for long periods of time. In the car. For half an hour. You know what I mean? I try to let them resolve their issues on their own, so I let them keep talking and talking and talking. That’s when I stepped in and calmly gave my little spiel. Whew. Hope that clears things up…

Recently, however, we experienced something that may have changed her approach and overall state of mind with respect to the sport. The crux of the problem? A parent.

In this particular game, she was playing really well. In fact, I was amazed by a few of her shots. It looked like she was being moved by some greater force or something. I mean, she floated down the court and, in one case, hit a shot from the three point line, using only her right arm, flinging it in with nothin’ but net.

It was beautiful.

She was having so much fun.

Until a dad from the other team apparently decided that the three high school girls coaching his daughter’s team weren’t doing their jobs coaching his daughter. He stepped in and took over, intimidating the girls and getting his face right in all of their faces. I couldn’t hear what he said to them, but my daughter’s teammates overheard him say to his daughter, “You see that #23? Whatever you do, don’t let her take a shot!”

He barked his orders and sent out his attack dog.

We’re talking fifth and sixth grade girls, here, people.

I was keeping the clock for the game, which meant I was sitting next to a dad from the other team, who was keeping the stats and the score in the official game book. He and I had been engaging in friendly chatter for the duration of the game. When Attack Dad turned his daughter into Attack Girl even scorekeeper dad noticed. He said, “Wow, she’s being pretty nasty.” He told me about how he believes that a lot of parents try to live through their kids and work out whatever they were unable to accomplish in their own childhoods. Sure, I’ve heard that and believe it. But, geesh!

At one point, when the girl had excessively elbowed my daughter (and had the bruises and cuts to show for it afterward), she asked Attack Girl, “What are you doing?” Attack Girl responded harshly, “It’s called playing a sport.”

Well, that’s not the way I’ve been taught to play sports. Or the way my kids have been taught to play sports. Certainly not girls’ basketball, anyway. And certainly not in elementary school.

After four fouls called on his daughter, my daughter went to the drinking fountain, shaken, crying and battered. Scorekeeper dad nudged me and said softly, “Er, I think your daughter’s crying.” Sure enough, he’d pushed her to the point of tears. She walked over to me. I hugged her and could feel her shaking. She showed me her cuts and said, “Mom, I’ve never played with someone so mean.”

The coaches took my daughter out for the rest of the game.

I didn’t know how to handle this situation. Attack Dad stands at about 6’3″ and fiercely glares at people. I don’t think it’s my imagination. During that game he looked fierce. Should I have gone over to the guy and said something? If so, what? Would that have really solved anything? The coaches were apologizing, the referees were apologizing, even scorekeeper dad apologized. He told me that his dad coached his basketball team when he was a boy and that, in his opinion, that girl was way over the top. There were definitely moments when it was all I could do to hold myself back from running out there and getting between them.

It was just awful.

I know I’m a bit of a lightweight and hate conflict, but I’m also a sports lover and appreciate the pleasure one can get from playing a good competitive game. But this? This incident was not sport.

I looked over at the guy and scowled in my own kind of glaring way, but then I remembered the hockey player’s dad who killed a guy. So, I decided to walk away. It’s what my daughter wanted to do, too. She said, “Mom, I just want to leave. Please.” So I wrapped my arm around her, held her close and walked out the door.

She really hasn’t played the same way since that game. I can’t help but wonder if she subconsciously fears more attacks, so she’s pulling back a bit on her level of play. Better to fit in than to be attacked (?!). I hope not. I hope the Attack Family did not win by intimidation. But, on the other hand, maybe my daughter has a point when she says we should start thinking about tennis.

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Images from Google Images and El Conquistador.

and I like this one, too:

I hope his words inspire my kids (and not just when they play basketball).

When you’re feeling down, just remember that sometimes you need to fail in order to succeed. When you screw up or even just stumble a bit, you need to pick yourself up, put yourself back out there and keep trying. Our mistakes help us learn and make us grow. Or, more accurately, it’s the lessons from the mistakes.

I think we need to keep learning and growing all our lives. And hey, if that’s true, the sooner we stop beating ourselves up for mistakes we’ve made and view them as opportunities to learn the better off we’ll be.

Oh, and just in case you don’t know Michael Jordan, read this.

Yeah…I miss seeing him play.

Roger Federer is a joy to watch. In addition, he is one of the most elegant, chic tennis players of our time. I loved it when he changed (right on the court!) into the jacket (Ralph Lauren, I believe) after winning Wimbledon. Style finally comes to tennis.

But…

What was up with his all black attire yesterday??

It was shocking (presumably intentionally) and just a tad distracting. I know that the U.S. Open is the most lenient Grand Slam tournament when it comes to rules regarding attire. Wimbledon is the strictest with its all white rule (which it only relatively recently loosened and, even then, only slightly). But all black? Hmm…

Then, in this morning’s New York Times, I couldn’t help but notice the full page (Gillette!?) ad featuring Federer in his all black garb against a black background with the words, “Darth Federer strikes again” positioned just above his head. No, no, no, please don’t take away his enchanting elegance and turn him into a dark knight or something. Darth Federer? What message are they trying to convey? Ugh.

I’ll tolerate the all black (some would say chic) get up. But only for the U.S. Open. And only if it comes without some dark PR connotation.