My Son's Credo

As parents, we hope to instill good values in our children, but how do we know when they learn the lessons or whether they even hear us?

Over the years I’ve wondered…

Do they learn from what we do? How can we be sure?

Wouldn’t it be nice to have a list of lessons, or a credo, if you will?

Then, one day last week, my son handed me a typewritten sheet with the heading, “Life and How to Live It.”  He explained that, after teaching the class George Washington’s 110 Rules of Civility, his teacher told the class that she wanted each of them to write a credo.

This is what he wrote:

Life and How to Live it

• Keep your head level. You’re no better than the next guy.
• Stick together. If a bunch of fish group together, it scares away the shark.
• Always remember what’s important in life. Your hair doesn’t matter as much as your SAT score.
• Be yourself. Just because someone else jumps off a bridge doesn’t mean you have to.
• Don’t depend on others to make you happy. If someone doesn’t like you anymore, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world.
• Keep a good balance of work and play. Ever seen The Shining?
• If you think of it as fun, it’ll go by a lot faster.
• Violence isn’t always the answer.
• Remember to give as much as you get and get as much as you give.
• Always know what path you’re on—and how what you’re doing will affect you long-term.
• Always know which way is up and which way is down.
• STUDY. What college you go to matters a lot more than Sunday Night Football.
• Sleep actually DOES matter. You aren’t any cooler if you stay up till midnight.
• Whenever you do anything that you think might not seem right, even the slightest bit, ask yourself: Would I like this if someone did this to me?
• And always, ALWAYS, be nicest to the ones you love.

After reading it, I smiled, thanked him and gave him a great big bear hug.  Every bullet point represented little lessons taught over the years.  Most came from those lectures where I thought I was talking too much and wondered whether his eyes were glazing over, whether he was thinking about football rather than listening to what I was telling him.  Others came from experiences and morals gleaned from stories about my family members. I recognized all of them.  Remembered every conversation, every moment we talked about these ideas.

Hooray.  Simply, hooray.

There it was — years of talking, teaching, leading, discussing, and guiding summed up by a page of bullet points.  He told me that he could have written more, but had to keep it to a page.

“That’s fine,” I thought. “More than good enough.”

Parenting provides no feedback or bonuses, no accolades or pay raises, so how do we know whether we’re doing a good job? We hope for moments like these and when we get them, we cherish them.

At the end of the day, it’s not about us.  The measure of our parenting, if it even exists, will be shown by our children’s character as they become young adults.  We really don’t know for certain whether they will be responsible citizens, contribute to society, or make a difference in the world.  But at least we can breath a little sigh of relief knowing that they hear our words and emulate our actions.

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