Our Choices Determine Our Paths

I find myself getting so frustrated with cranky, gossipy, negative, dramatic, whiny adults. Particularly those who take no responsibility for their choices. Or make the choices without apparent awareness of the consequences of their actions.

As we grow older, I believe we have two broad paths to walk down. One is full of virtues — honesty, integrity, kindness, love, joy, calm, peace, healthfulness, tolerance, consideration, compassion. The other is dark and filled with bitterness, hostility, rage, anger, jealousy, envy, ego, gossip, revenge, and so on.

Our choices determine the path on which we travel.

I’m not saying that once you step on the dark path, you’re destined to be a grumpy old man (or woman). We all have bad days or cranky moments. We all make choices we regret. No one is perfect but God. We all lash out in anger once in a while. And we might meander along the path, coming close to the dark side, then wander back. Or we might even spend a little time actually on that darker path but we can make other choices that bring us back to a softer, more compassionate zone.

But for now, for today, the people who frustrate (or actually sadden) me are the kind of people who repeatedly look for (and find) dark clouds on a beautiful, bright, (otherwise) sun-filled day.

For example, a few years ago, a female stranger left an angry message on my voicemail complaining that my outgoing message was too chipper, too happy.  Interesting choice she made. She dialed the wrong number but, instead of just hanging up the phone, she chose to leave a nasty message saying that my message was dripping in happy and should be changed.  Hmmm…oookaaayyy.

Was I going to let that message ruin my day?

My husband often says to me and our kids, “There are no bad days.  Only bad moments.”  Sure, we sometimes find that days are filled with heaps of bad moments. So, at the ends of those days, we can say, “That was a bad day.”  But as the moments happen, we continually have the option of beginning again and looking at the next moment as just that – the next moment.

So, you know what?  Rather than choose to allow those negative people to bring me down, I’m going to make the choice to begin anew.  To first forgive (not to excuse, mind you) their seemingly unconscious hurtful choice to attempt to ruin an otherwise perfectly lovely day and look to the next moment as a new one.  That slight is already in the past. It’s meaningless now.

This moment, right here, right now, is the one I’m in.

And I choose to make it peaceful.

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